The Gift of Josiah

LOVING BEYOND THE DIAGNOSIS

No parent Is ever prepared to hear that their child is anything else other than happy and healthy. Nothing can be more frightening than hearing the dreaded words of the pediatrician that my child is diagnosed with “Autism”. 

How do you handle something so disheartening? I don’t know which part hurts more. The idea of the future you had planned for your child now fading away  in the distance or wondering if the world is going to accept your child for who they are. Can the world accept my child and not the diagnosis? The worries are endless.

The world can be harsh, judgmental , and outright mean. As a mother, the only thing I want to do is protect my boys from all harm, and not just the regular nuances of life. Then the issue of him being nonverbal followed by the delays, and then the dreadful diagnosis. To be brutally honest, I was definitely heartbroken at first. Which mother wouldn’t? Strangely enough though the feeling of disappointment and sadness didn’t last long. Josiah has the innate ability to sense my innermost feelings and the despair dissipates.

"Josiah has the gift of melting my fears and tears away by taking one look into my eyes, giving me his reassuring smile and loving embrace."

Seeing the world through Josiah’s eyes has slowed everything down for me. These days The world seems to move at a slower pace. All of a sudden I see flowers I’ve never noticed. Smiles or sadness or heartbreak in people’s eyes I would have otherwise never noticed become more apparent had it not been for my son

Non verbal autism is just another way of being. It is nonsensical and stereotypical to make people with autism less human than Neurotypical people.

Josiah is nonverbal. What people don’t seem to understand is nonverbal does not mean the inability to communicate.  There is so much stigma and prejudice surrounding Autism and sometimes these can have dire consequences on families.

I’m so much more intuitive to what people aren’t saying. By watching and hearing people's eyes and hearts I can make a deeper impact in changing those around me. Josiah has done that for me.

Autism used to be perceived as a severe disorder usually accompanied by intellectual disability. Simon Baron Cohen, Director of the Autism Research centre at the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom has concluded in his research of Adults with Autism mentions that its becoming apparent in the 21st century that people with autism are perfectly capable of participating in all aspects of life and might already be doing that almost invisibly. (The Joys and Challenges of being a Parent..2017)

WHEN ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS

There isn’t a soul that’s not impacted by meeting Josiah. He brings joy and light to every environment. His ability to capture the attention of others and educate without saying a single word brings tears to my eyes. And my responsibility as his mom is to make sure that I communicate to others about his difficulty and play with him and make his life as normal as possible.
 

Even though this journey has its share of struggles, tears and moments of frustration (if you’ve  ever been to any IEP meetings you know what I mean) It’s success hails much farther. From the ashes of guilt and pain arose triumph, victories both  big and small, growth, and enlightenment All from a child that could rock your world in ways you couldn’t have imagined. In an absolutely beautiful way.     

Through our journey I have been able to impact children and families in every city we have lived in.

Josiah turned this shy soft spoken 23 year old Ethiopian girl into a warrior. I have transformed into “A LION” of a person.

I realized that I had A voice and an inner-power I was not aware of before. It had emerged from a place of what I thought would be painful. But  instead emerged STRENGTH, COURAGE, TENACITY BRAVERY and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

Even if this isn’t the journey I wouldn’t have chosen I wouldn’t exchange  my son for anything. The perfect quote I love when I begin to question God’s plan is from Claire LaZebnik the author of “Growing up on the Spectrum” “Don’t think that there’s a different, better child ‘hiding’ behind autism. This is your child in front of you. Encourage his strengths, celebrate his quirks, and improve his weaknesses, the way you would any child” 

My child is not part of my assignment. He is my assignment.

I have embraced every aspect of this journey. This sweet boy is more than I could have prayed and asked for. I am undeserving, but grateful that he is mine. With pride HE IS MINE!